Dancing backstage before my Tedx talk

I was standing backstage in the gym of the event venue for Tedx Woodinville with a tight stomach, my jaw clenched, and my stomach churning. I couldn't believe that it was actually going to happen. I was about to go out on that stage, stand on the red dot, and share my heart and soul with the world. I walked to the back corner with my headphones on and pressed play for the first song, "This is Me," by Keala Settle. My anthem that described what it felt like to unmask and "come out" as neurodivergent to the world. I rocked my best dance moves and let the joy and fear and all of the emotions I was feeling be present. I channeled the energy to get into my flow. Connecting with music is just one way that my sensory intensity supports me.

But having sensory sensitivity isn't always so energizing.

Here are some examples of how my sensory differences

also have created challenges for me as a child and adult:

•  loathed being asked to play with mud in the sensory table in preschool

• nauseous when thinking about, smelling or looking at many condiments including ranch dressing, whipped cream, sour cream, cream cheese, and mayo

• terrified of parties and carnivals (worried about seeing pies in a someone’s face)

• anxious that my friends would imitate Mighty Ducks movie scene and put shaving cream on my hand and tickled my face with a feather at sleepovers

•  Dentist and orthodontist..enough said 

• exhausted after taking my kids to an arcade, water park, amusement park, festival, or trampoline park with intense lights, sounds, or crowds. 

• drained from supervising students during passing periods or had cafeteria duty and the fluorescent lights and student voices echoing 

• attending traditional networking events with large crowds, background noise, and bright lights  

Once I acknowledged that I had these differences and understood that the world was not designed for my sensitivity, I stopped judging myself so much. I had valid needs to consider as well as strengths to leverage when designing my work routine and life.

Here are some other ways that sensory intensity can show up:

• immense appreciation for art, music/sounds, smells, tastes, textures, and nature

• waking up from sleeping after the slightest noise or light

• experience strong reactions to smells, lights, or others' emotions

• certain noises are distracting at best or excruciating at worst

• particular food textures or smells are nauseating

• low tolerance for very hot or very cold weather or room temps

• craving something in your mouth to chew on

• deeply enjoying soft blankets or petting soft animals

• need white noise to sleep or headphones/ear plugs to be in many public places

• misophonia: intense dislike of certain sounds (i.e. people chewing, cracking knuckles, forks scraping on plates)

• moved by sunsets, flower petals, raindrops or other beautiful sights

• feeling an intense high as energy flows through the body while listening to music

Meeting our sensory needs is essential.  People with sensory intensities and sensitivities (i.e. sensual overexcitability) have a vulnerable nervous system that can become dysregulated more easily than people without this intensity.  If we are not regulated in our body, we can’t leverage our strengths to lead change.   

It takes time and practice to pay attention and increase awareness of sensory preferences and needs. It takes even more courage to ask for what you need or give yourself what you need. 

TIP: Set up systems in your business that are aligned with your sensory preferences. For example, if the noise of person networking events exhaust you, design a way for you to connect with people in a more sensory friend way. If speaking at conferences or going to airports is overwhelming, find podcasts or virtual events to share your expertise.

Celebrate yourself when you notice something that you don’t like or something that you love.  Increasing self awareness takes intentionality and prioritizing your needs will help you to design a routine so that you can work the way you are wired. This will give you the energy to lead change more effectively.

Awareness is essential to activate your creative problem solving skills to try different supports, and learn what you need through trial and error.  Even though it might feel small, awareness is huge and action steps are monumental.